FEAR OF REJECTION? NOT ME!

Isaiah 53:3  He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. 

What is it like to feel rejected?  Well first to understand this, I must first look up the definition.  Rejected means; refuse to recognize, refuse to accept, to cast out, eject or vomit, to discard as useless or unsatisfactory.  Wow.  Tell me those words don't cut right the heart of most of my issues in life.  n fact I feel that are quite a few of us who feel this way or at least have felt this way for many years.  For me the feeling of rejection was very strong.  Growing up I never really felt accepted.  I was different.  The last one to be picked for a sports team in gym class, the last one to be asked to dance.  For a very long time I thought I had abandonment issues, (it's a long story) but now for the very first time I realize that I have a fear of rejection.  Being different now is okay for me because I know who I am, but back when I was a kid, that was not alright.  All kids want to be accepted and loved for who they are.  At home I was loved and accepted, but not at school, not among my peers.  The teasing, others thought as funny just proved to me that I was not acceptable.  The jokes that were all meant in fun, cut right through my heart and made me doubt myself for many, many years.  So instead of being me, I put on many different masks just to fit in.  I did things that I am not proud of, said things I am not proud of and hurt people I really liked in order to fit in and not be rejected.  

I think for the most part, many of us live like this.  We pretend in order to be accepted.  That fear of rejection is powerful.  It makes us different than we really are.  It makes us super sensitive to every little word, every little action, every little sound another person makes.  We jump to conclusions about what those words, those actions or those sounds mean.  We take it personally, even if those words, actions or sounds are not directed at us.  We don't want to offend anyone for fear of rejection, so we keep our mouth shut.  When someone hurts us, we just internalize it and keep those feelings hidden like some deep dark secret we're hiding.  As we grow up we look for opportunities to prove ourselves, we over work, we kiss up to the boss, we go above and beyond and we drive ourselves (and everyone around us) crazy trying to prove we are acceptable.  We sign up for every committee and volunteer to head up every function because we have that fear of rejection lingering just beneath the surface.  We can't say no, they may reject us for that.  We over commit ourselves and we want everyone we know to help us.  If they don't we become offended which ends up bringing up those old rejection fears again.  Sound familiar?  If there is a day when we finally feel accepted, someone finally notices what we have done and who we are, then we become proud and boastful.  We keep every newspaper article, we keep every trophy and put it on display for all to see.  Every award, every pat on the back is checked marked and saved in our memory, as if that is what makes us accepted.  Then when those moments go away, we're left again with the feelings of rejection.  

Have you lived this way?  The thing I realized a few years ago is that if people reject me for who I really am, than I am in good company because Jesus was rejected as well.  He never pretended to be someone else to fit in.  He was God in human form and He had confidence in who He was.  He was a man who knew who He was and was not ashamed of it.  He cried, He laughed, He loved.  He never hid His emotions, He never changed His words, He never did anything just to be accepted.  Truthfully He never cared what anyone else thought, He came here for a purpose and whether others rejected Him or not, that was their problem.  He came to save everyone, but they were so busy looking for a king to defeat Roman, they missed their Savior.  Instead of Jesus being this mighty warrior who trampled everyone in His path, He was a gentle, loving soul who went around doing good and sharing His love wherever He went.  Even those who did reject Him, He loved them also.  Jesus was not the Messiah they were expecting so He was rejected.  He was God's Son, pure and simple.  Accept Him or reject Him, that is our choice.  For me, I accept Him, but does He accept me?

Yes, that fear of Jesus rejecting me, gnawed at me many years.  Do I read the Bible enough?  Am I doing enough good works, oh maybe I should do more and volunteer for something else?  Am I watching the right TV programs, should I even be watching TV?  Am I reading the right books, would they be approved by Him?  Am I doing things right, or should I do more?  Does Jesus see my hands in the air as I praise Him?  Oh maybe I shouldn't raise my hands, no one else is?  We could and we usually do, literally drive ourselves trying to be accepted.  People, if you believe in Jesus Christ, if you have accepted Him as your Savior, than you are accepted and approved of.  Jesus Christ died on the cross for you!  He loves you!  He will never reject you!  God created you the way you are.  Stop trying to be someone different just to be accepted because you are loved by the King of Kings, Lord of Lords.  He made you on purpose and God does not make mistakes.  Dive into the confidence we should all have that we are loved.

May the love of God invade your heart and mind today.  May His love transform you to become all He wants you to be. May the fear of rejection leave you forever, in Jesus name I pray, amen!