Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
As I sit here trying to prepare for a change in my heart and my mind and my soul, I realize that I am a living in a construction zone. I don't know why, well wait a moment I do know why, God is preparing me for something. I'm not 100% sure what He had coming my way, but I know that in order to do what he has for me to do I will be a construction zone for as long as He sees fit. I have always been a work in progress but I strongly feel that this is different, it's deeper and more intense. Which can be a little frightening. The thing I have to remember is that God knows what He is doing. I have to trust in Him and stop doing what is comfortable for me. I need to stop doubting and fearing what is to come. I need to step up and step out of my comfort zone. I need to start challenging myself, I need to drop my defenses and reach deep down in my soul and and take an honest look at myself and my heart. I need to listen to God and what He wants me to do with my life. I realize that nothing I do, nothing I say should be about me it must be about Jesus! It's not about me and what I want to do, it's about Jesus!
When I read this verse I am reminded of the fact that God created the universe, He created every living thing and yes, He created me! If He did this then only He can create in me a pure heart. Only an inventor or a product can tell us how to use it. Only my creator can instruct me as to who I am and what my true purpose is in life and how I will complete that purpose. It will take painful chipping away of all that keeps me from doing what He wants me to do. It will take heart breaking honesty about all I have been through in my life and how I can use those circumstances to help others. It's about being willing to look in His mirror, not mine. It's about reliving the pain, reliving the stress, reliving the humiliation and letting it go. From this moment on Jesus is not only my Savior, He is my architect, my carpenter my artist and my sculptor. He will shape me, chisel me, sculpt me and mold me. He will take a hammer in one hand, a chisel in the other and by His side will be glue, nails, saw, and any other tool He finds necessary to change me. He will remove rooms in my heart, divide some and build new rooms. He will use my experiences in life to make me and mold me into an image that more closely resembles Him.
You know if I had said this even a year ago I would have been scared silly, but you know this is a great feeling for me. To think that my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ actually wants to take time for work on me, in me and through me sounds intriguing and uplifting. I don't know about you, but I am tired of conforming to this world in order to please everyone else, but God. I don't need to talk like anyone else besides the me God created me to be. I do not need to do the things others do to be accepted because God accepts me just as I am. I do not have to change, I want to change. I want to relive the dark moments in my journey in order to become more like Him. I don't have to be like Joyce Meyer, or Joel Osteen, or Beth Moore or Pastor John. I don't now what path my journey will take during this time of construction and destruction, but I am trusting in Him and Him alone. I don't know (nor do I really care) how many people will approve of what He has asked me to do, I don't care if anyone believes me or not. I have a mission, a purpose and in order to fulfill it I have to go through this season with Jesus as my guide.
As I go through this journey I will do my best to take you all with me. It may not be very pretty at times or it may be the most fantastic thing ever, I have no idea. I do know this, I have the love and acceptance of mighty Savior. He wants to help me be the best me I can be. Jesus Christ knows that what I have been through in life can be used to help others and through the guidance of His Holy Spirit that lives in me, He will teach me how to use this and where to go. I don't know about you, but I want to go above and beyond my normal way of life. If God can send His Son to die a criminals death for me, I can surely submit myself to His will. It's not complicated. Total surrender during this construction zone season is necessary. I know it will not be easy, but I'm looking forward to it. Pray for me as I begin this journey. I will not be writing a blog next week. My daughter and I along with a few friends are heading to St. Louis to attend Joyce Meyer's Women's conference. I will be spending next week reading, taking notes and listening to the Holy Spirit.
Transform me Lord. Chip away everything that keeps me from going deeper with you. Guide me through this journey and be with me, in Jesus name I pray, amen.
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