DO NOT WEEP FOR ME

1 Corinthians 15:55  "O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?" 

Okay I know this may seem like a crazy picture to put with this verse but are with me for a few moments.  You see this is the view I woke up to this morning.  Pinks and purples kissed the morning sky as the sun rose amidst a dark and gloomy sky.  That's right, as the sun began to rise in the east, the rest of the sky was covered in dark, gloomy rain clouds.  Within a few seconds this view disappeared and the clouds took over the sun.  The purples, the pink, all hidden for the day.  This view I was privileged to see reminded me of life and death.  You see the glorious sunrise I saw for a brief moment is life, the clouds is death.  I have been to many funerals in my lifetime and they are always sad.  Tears are shed, eyes are swollen and red, grief is visible on the faces of those gathered to say good bye.  It's a somber time, a time to remember, a time to mourn, a time to cry.  But this time is for those who lost the loved one.  They will miss their smile, they will miss their laughter and the stories they told.  They will miss the holidays and birthdays that were yet to be.  There is a sense of longing for what was supposed to be, a sense of sadness for what was lost.  For years, sometimes many years, people gather at graveyards to pay their respects to their loved one who have died.  Flowers are put on the tops of the grave markers and tears are shed again.  There is nothing wrong with that, that is the way some people mourn and find comfort.  For me, sitting at my fathers grave is meaningless.  Putting flowers on his grave is pointless.  That is not what he wanted.  He didn't want me to visit him at his grave now that he is dead, he wanted me to visit him and bring him flowers when he was alive.

You see my dad believed in Jesus Christ so I know he is in heaven right now looking down on me.  The one thing my father despised was funerals.  He paid close attention to those who cried the hardest.  Usually they are the ones who regret not spending time with the person when they were alive, that was me.  To him, that was foolish.  When he died he did not want a funeral, a memorial mass was okay, but no funeral, no showing.  In fact he told my mom he would come back and haunt her if she didn't follow his instructions.  At first I was hurt by this but now I totally get it.  Why put on a show when someone is dead?  Instead of crying when their dead. instead of visiting their grave site, instead of regretting all the lost time you could have had, instead of waiting until someone dies, visit them now!  I find it odd that people visit their loved ones in a grave, yet forget about the ones still alive sitting at home.   I find it strange that people find the time to take a day off work for a funeral, yet can't find the time to visit with loved ones when they're alive.   I don't understand it.  My Grandma Roberts was a fun lady, but when my grandfather died, she grew very tired and upset watching the cousins, the nieces and nephews, the grandchildren  who cried buckets of tears because they were going to miss my grandfather.  She looked at me with tears in her eyes and I'll never forget what she said to me, "Where were they when he was alive?"  Those words echoed through my mind and still do.  This poem, written by Mary Elizabeth Frye, is one that is usually used at a lot of funerals, unfortunately most of us don't get it.  

Do not stand at my grave and weep 

I am not there. I do not sleep. 

I am a thousand winds that blow. 

I am the diamond glints on snow. 

I am the sunlight on ripened grain. 

I am the gentle autumn rain. 

When you awaken in the morning's hush 

I am the swift uplifting rush 

Of quiet birds in circled flight. 

I am the soft stars that shine at night. 

Do not stand at my grave and cry; 

I am not there. I did not die. 

You see I do not visit my fathers grave, he is not there.  He is in heaven with his Savior.  I do not put flowers on his grave, I send them to my mom.  I no longer weep over my fathers death, yes I miss him terribly, but I know that he is with Jesus.  I cry over the years I lost with him and the regrets I have for not visiting him more when he was alive.  I am determined to spend time with people when they are alive.  I will never forget my father, his memory lives on inside of me every day.  Yes it was hard losing him, he was my daddy and I was his little girl, still am.  You see as a Christian I know that death has no victory over me.  The sting of death has been defeated.  I am cherishing the people that I love here and now.  I am sorry of this offends anyone, I don't mean it to.  This earthly body is not my home, heaven is my home and that is where my earthly father and my Heavenly Father live.  That is where I find my dad, not in his grave.  Instead of mourning my dad, I cherish my mom.  Instead of mourning my father-in-law, I cherish my mother-in-law.  The thing is, my father and my father-in-law are in a much better place than me.  They dwell in heaven where Jesus Christ reigns.  They have peace and joy and love for all eternity, why should I cry at their graves?  The dead don't need flowers, the living do.  

When I die, and I will, we all will, I do not want any crying.  I want a celebration, a giant party because I will be in heaven rejoicing with my Heavenly Father and with Jesus Christ.  I will be joined by my father, my father-in-law and my grandparents.  I can't wait.  I want to dance on a cloud and sing praises to my Lord.  I don't want crying.  Visit with me now while I am alive, let's laugh and cry together, let's sing and dance together, let's watch an Eagle ride the current of the winds and let's watch a sunrise together.  None of us know how much time we have left on this Earth and to waste another moment crying over a grave seems pointless when there are other loved ones who are alive who haven't seen you in years.   There are so many loved ones sitting in nursing homes with no one visiting them, yet when they die, people will be crying pools of tears.  I'm sorry, that is just wrong.  I understand that some loved ones may have dementia and may not even know who you are, so what!  Go visit them anyway!  Stop waiting for people to die to pay your respects and bring them flowers, do it now for those who are living.  

Lord, help me to change the focus of my life  on those who are living.  Help me to stop and visit instead of living with regrets.  Lord, you already conquered the grave and won, help us to remember that.  Comfort us when we lose those we love and help us appreciate those who are still alive, in Jesus name I pray, amen.