HOW MUCH MORE CAN I TAKE?

 2 Corinthians 4:8-10 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.  We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body

When I read this verse I can't help but feel a overwhelmed.  My heart starts beating and my head starts spinning in circles because for the life of me I cannot begin to comprehend what it must have been like for Paul back then.  To be chased after, persecuted and imprisoned yet still have such a positive outlook.  It blows my mind.  I try to pretend in my mind that I could handle the things they went through, I try to tell myself that I could endure the physical and emotional turmoil they were experiencing on a daily basis, yet if I am 100%  with myself I don't know if I could have a positive outlook.  I mean yea it's easy to say I could, it's easy to believe I could, I may even be able to convince myself that I could handle the situations they lived in and still have a positive outlook, but in reality I'm not sure.  There are so may times in my life when I feel totally beat down and weak.  Lost in a sea of unworthiness and sadness, I can easily be overwhelmed with feelings that are hard for me to handle.  I can hide them behind a smile and a laugh, but inside I face the reality of my feelings and the fact that I am weak!  I don't feel like one of those positive, uplifting people all the time but I can pretend, can't I?  

My thoughts are taking over and the lies of Satan is overwhelming any hope of a positive comment or feelings.  I have allowed these thoughts and feelings to invade my heart and mind.  My smile turns to a frown and I am drawn to feelings of despair like steel to a magnet.  These thoughts, these feelings are so loud, screaming in my mind that it is deafening.  It just keeps hounding me and hounding me to just give up and admit that I have fallen victim to these thoughts and feelings.  I sometimes feel like I am being chased by Satan himself.  Pressed on every side, like Paul in this verse.  I feel surrounded by an army of evil pushing in on me at all sides.  I look for positive reinforcements, but find none.  I look to the left, I look to the right, I look behind me, I look in front of me and see no one but me. I feel alone, locked in a trap like a scared rabbit, I pace back and forth looking for someone or something to give me hope.  I can't help feeling so overwhelmed to the breaking point sometimes.  I just don't get it.  No matter how hard I try I cannot lose these feelings and these thoughts.  They are dragging me down into the pits.  What can I do?  I look for a mighty angel carrying her sword and shield, but alas I realize that I have to fight this battle alone.  I have to drag myself up out of the pit and fight this battle alone.  To battle Satan is not easy but I guess I have to do what I have to do.  

But wait a minute suddenly there is a hand that reaches down to me in the pit.  Afraid it might be Satan I refuse the hand.  That's all I need, more hell on Earth.  Thanks but no thanks, I don't need that kind of help!  No way!  But then I hear a whisper.  Wait a minute where did the shouting and screaming go?  How can I hear this whisper when just a moment ago, the loudness of my thoughts and feelings left me almost deaf?  The darkness of the pit has been vanished by a brilliant light.  The hand is still there just waiting for me to reach out and grab it.  So I figure why not?  What could be worse than this?  As I rise out of the pit, I see that all my thoughts, all my feelings, all my negative emotions have been killed and they are lying on the battlefield of my mind.  A mighty army surrounds them and these feelings, these emotions, these thoughts that overwhelmed me, have been destroyed. What just happened and what is going on here?  I look at the hand that is holding onto me, the one that lifted me out of the pit and there is a hole in the palm of his hand.  Instantly I drop to my knees and cry out to Jesus!  "Thank you for saving me!!"

"My dear sweet child, I am always here for you.  I will never abandon you no matter what lies Satan tells you.  You may have felt hard pressed on every side, but you were never crushed because I was there with you.  You may have felt confused and perplexed but you were never left to feelings of total despair. You may have felt persecuted and alone but you were never abandoned.  You may have felt beaten and struck down, but you were never destroyed.  You see when you became I believer, my Spirit came to dwell in you and from that moment on you have my strength, my power and my love with you always.  While Satan will tell you lies to confuse you and overwhelm you, I give you peace, joy, patience, kindness and love.  No matter what you may go through in life always remember this.  I am with you always even in the battle for your life and soul!  I already fought Satan for you and guess what?  I already won!  No power in hell can ever defeat you if you remember this!  I Love You!"

Oh if only we could truly grasp this and realize the truth of that last paragraph.  To be honest I sometimes lose track of this truth and succumb to the lies of Satan, but every time I do, Jesus Christ is right there picking me up out of the pit.  Always remember what Paul fully understood, that because we believe in Jesus, we have His Spirit, His power, His strength and His love with us always.  Satan is a liar and a thief and he will steal your joy faster than the blink of an eye, if you let him.  

James 4:7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

Jesus we come to you on bended knee with the sad truth that we have forgotten about the strength and power you give us daily.  Thank you for fighting our battles with us and for us.  We trust in and rely on you.  We submit ourselves to God so that we can resist the devil and he will flee.  We ask you to continue to fill us with your power, your strength and your love, in Jesus name we pray, amen!