As I sit here on my back porch I'm enjoying the sunshine. While I sit here comfortably breathing in the fresh air, my son is having his treatment. It's sort of an odd feeling for me being here relaxed while he's going through what he's going through. There's almost a guilty feeling that takes over me occasionally. I don't like that guilty feeling. I wish I could take his place but I can't. As a mom it can be a helpless feeling watching your child go through something like this. As a mom it can become overwhelming to the point that you may want to scream and cry. I don't understand myself sometimes, because I don't feel overwhelmed. I can't explain what I feel in terms many may not understand but just let me say this...my strength comes from my faith and belief in Jesus Christ.
Yesterday at prayer there were lades there who were struggling with so many issues; medical issues, family issues, stress and fear. Tears were being shed as they talked and I wondered why I always have felt so different. I don't cry that often. In fact it's sort of strange to me because when people talk about how overwhelmed they are by the things happening around them, I get excited. I start thinking to myself .... "What's God gonna do through this situation?" There have been times at have laughed at stressful situations because I can actually picture God at work in the situation in ways many of us never even imagined in our wildest dreams.
I know I'm different. I even contacted one of my friends who joins us in prayer and asked her, "Is there something wrong with me?" She actually laughed because she feels the same way occasionally. Well at least I'm not alone. Anyway in diving into my personality God revealed to me that the faith I have in Him is unique in many ways. You see I hear Him talk with me through the power of the Holy Spirit. I feel His presence within me and I know that no matter what happens in my life, He's with me. I've seen Him move mountains in my life. I've seen Him fight the enemy and win my battles for me. I've seen the power of God on display many times.
Sean is in a battle that I cannot fight, neither can Sean. God is the only one who can fight this battle and win. God is the only one who knows the final outcome and I have placed my faith in Him because what is impossible with man, is possible with God. If God is for us, who dare be against us? My faith rests in the one who is ALMIGHTY, EVERLASTING GOD! He can move the immovable, break the unbreakable! I believe for it!!
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