UNSETTLE ME

I recently read a devotional by Lysa Terkeurst that was titled, "Unsettle Me".  It was so inspiring to me that I have been praying that recently.  The thing that caught my attention with this devotion was it was very raw and real to me.  Why?  I love my settled life.  It's calm and peaceful.  Challenges do not exist in my settled world, or at least they don't seem to rattle me.  I have never been one to rock the boat or make waves.  I am a peaceful person who despises conflict and fights change.  I do my best to maintain my status quo and remain filled with peace and joy, so this devotion seemed a little radical for me, but it spoke so deeply to my heart that I felt I needed to pray this.

Well be careful what you pray for.  God has unsettled me recently in areas I didn't expect.  I have learned a lot about myself these past few weeks and God has opened my eyes to the reality of myself. I fight back tears when people hurt me and I hide behind a mask that says, "I'm okay", when I'm not.  Messages in church by my pastor rock me, yet I hold back the tears.  I don't want to appear weak, so I will not cry in public.  I do not allow myself to fully surrender, even though I thought I had.   I keep people at a distance because I am afraid to be hurt again.  Jerry is my only true friend because with him I feel safe, unjudged and loved.  To be honest I am not the person I pretend to be.  I am weak, timid and afraid.  I hide my heart because it's been stomped on.  So I tend to wrap myself in a cocoon and stay in my settled, safe world. 

For me this prayer was radical.  I don't think I fully understood the ramifications of this prayer, but I think I do now.  It's not about me!  It's about Jesus!  It's about standing up, stepping out and being honest with myself and others.  It's about breaking my heart for what breaks God's heart.  It's about looking at others through the eyes of Jesus Christ.  It's about crying tears because of all the sin in this world.  It's about not judging others and just showing them the love of Jesus Christ.  It's about controlling and even ignoring my feelings (which are fickle anyways).   

Lord, please unsettle me.  I want to see the reality of who I am through your eyes.  I want to get real honest and take the blinders off of who I really am.  I want to change.  I want to grow.  I want to live for you.  Lord, break my heart for what breaks yours.  Let me see with your eyes so that my vision can once again become clear.  Let me hear with your ears and shut off the noise and distractions that keep me deaf to your whispers.  Let me speak with your words and not my own, may my words bring you glory.  Let me walk where you walk, down that narrow path that few dare go.  And finally Lord, let me love as deeply and honestly as you love.  Unsettle me from my comfort zone and let my tears flow from my eyes so that I can heal and recover from this heart that has been settled for way too long.

  Hebrews 1:3  The Son is the radiance of God's glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word. After he had provided purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty in heaven. 

Jesus Christ came to this earth to unsettle me.   He has taught me how to forgive by first forgiving me.  He has taught me to how to love the unlovable, by first loving me.  He has taught me how to accept others (faults and all) by first accepting me.   He has taught me how to stop judging others by not judging me.  

When I stop and think about the Lord of Lord, King of Kings, coming to this earth, I am blown away,  He touched lepers, really?  I have a hard time touching someone who has a cold.  He loved and forgave a prostitute, I have a hard time forgiving someone who hurt me.   He sat on dirt floors and ate with sinners while I unfriend someone on Facebook who creates drama.  Jesus could have been sitting on a throne in a royal palace, but He didn't.  He humbled Himself so that He could relate better with us.  He unsettled Himself, even to death on a cross.  

I have a long way to go! 

Lord, please continue to unsettle me.  Rid me of me.  Create a clean heart in me and help me to get real about who I am and who you want me to be, in Jesus name I pray, amen.