IT JUST TAKES TIME

 

These oranges are in a process right now.  They are slowly ripening, but it takes times.  It doesn't happen overnight.  In fact when we are out in Arizona in February the oranges are ripe and bright orange, by the time we leave in March the new blossoms are filling the trees.  It's an 11 month process for an orange to ripen on the tree.  This also depends on the proper conditions, and fertilizer and water.  It's a waiting game but the reward is so tasty!!!!

"Good things come to those who wait" This old saying is very true but it's not easy to wait on God when you're praying for a miracle.  I want to hear "Sean has been healed...it has to be a miracle from God."   I believe it will happen but I want it NOW!   I feel like the spoiled girl in the movie "Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory"   You know the one who says..."I want an Oompa Loompa and I want it now daddy!"  Well sometimes that is probably how my prayers sound to God.  Okay I can laugh about that because it's true.  Just like these green oranges take time to ripen, sometimes miracles take time to come true.  

Waiting, trusting, believing, and patience....miracles takes time, healing takes time.  I will be honest this process can seem very daunting and rather sucky at times.  I don't mind waiting, don't get me wrong, but when you're talking about one of my family's health I don't want to wait, I want it now!!!  Is there a magic genie somewhere that will grant me 3 wishes?  Is there a magic potion to give Sean that will wipe this junk out of his body?  Of course I'm being silly but sometimes my mind wanders into these absurd areas.  Am I the only one who thinks up these questions?  

BUT GOD...knows where I'm coming from.  BUT GOD...knows my heart.  BUT GOD...loves Sean in spite (or maybe because) of his goofy mom.  BUT GOD....BUT GOD...BUT GOD...steps into where I am and reassures me that He is in control.  I just have to keep waiting and trusting and believing.   I've got to stop pounding my head on the floor and surrender my son to God's Almighty plan and purpose.  So I lay my son at the foot of the cross and allow God to do what I cannot and I just have to trust in Him and His timing.    

LIFE IS LIKE A......

 

"My mom always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.”...Forrest Gump

These 3 precious grandchildren....you never know what you're gonna get...they have a keen sense of humor and love to play tricks, so beware!!  They are so much fun and it's always an adventure to be with them.   That's life isn't it?   Well, life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get, that is until you bite into it or break it open.  Unless you have a box of chocolates with  a diagram that tells you which chocolate with which filling is in what space.  My grandma Roberts always gave me chocolates for Christmas but the one she gave me always had a diagram so you knew hat you'd get.  But life does not always come with a diagram, and there is no directions.  These 3 cuties came with no instruction manual and neither did I when I was born.  

Life is like a box of chocolates...you never know what you're gonna get.  I never imagined in my wildest dreams, or nightmares, that I would be watching one of my children deal with "c".  I did my best during their life to feed them good food, I took them to the doctors, and on top of all of that I prayed for their health daily.  So what happened?  How did this happen to my baby boy?  I don't understand why.  It can be so frustrating to try to figure these things out, in fact it's impossible. It's hard for me to explain but I am sick and tired of trying to figure things out.  In fact I am done trying to figure things out.

It's sort of funny to me when I finally stop trying to figure out what's going on and why, there is a peace that surpasses all understanding.  It's not up to me to figure out what's happening or why, it's my job to trust in God and believe in His ways, even if I don't always agree.  God's ways are so much higher than mine.  His thoughts, His plans are so much better than mine.  I don't always understand and to be honest I don't always like His plans, but I trust in them and I trust in Him.  

While this journey is not fun, it has helped me connect with God in a very profound way...He is with me like I've never experienced Him before.  His presence is very real to me.  As I sit here and type His Holy Spirit lives in me and has empowered me to stand in faith during this time.  There is a song by CeCe Winans called..."Believe For It!"  It has greatly inspired me to keep believing in miracles because my God is the God of the impossible.  And while I said there was no instruction manual, I lied....there is the best instruction manual in the world...The Bible!!  It will guide us through any stage in life, it has greatly helped me during this time.  It can help you also, whether it raising your children, or dealing with a storm.  

So eat some chocolate, enjoy this Holy time of year and don't worry or fret about what's in the chocolate....

 

WATCH OUT...I'M COMING FOR YOU

 

Watch out Satan....you can't handle what the power of God can do through a mother that is filled with the Holy Spirit!!  The Spirit of the living God lives in me and His power and strength flows through me.  There is no power in hell that can stand against the power of my God!!!  Not today!  Not any day!  My God is an awesome God who reigns in Heaven and Earth.  Whether you believe in God or not, He reigns!  He is in control!  The same power who raised Jesus from the dead...that power lives in me through the Holy Spirit!!!  That gives me access to the supernatural power of God!   That gives me confidence I cannot have in my own power, for when I am weak, He is strong.   One of my favorites....

Isaiah 40: 28-31  Do you not know?  Have you not heard?  The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.  He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom.  He gives strength to the weary, and increases the power of the weak.  Even youth will grow tired and weary, and young men will stumble and fall, BUT those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.  

This storm will not defeat me.   The enemy has whispered in my ears many times in the last 3 months "You're not strong enough to withstand this storm."  And i will admit there are times I don't feel strong enough and if I may be 100% honest....I'm not strong enough to handle this storm...BUT GOD is!!  It is His strength I rely on.  It is His power at work in me that has gotten me to this point in this journey.  It's not easy, it's not for the faint at heart BUT GOD is with me.  God is in control, not me and certainly not the enemy.  The thing is the enemy thinks he's in control....he's delusional.  Satan is a liar, a thief and a deceiver.  He will do whatever he can to try to steal, kill and destroy me...BUT GOD has me in the palm of His hands.  

I seriously don't know how people get through this without God.  Without my faith and belief I would be lost.  God is my strength!  God is my refuge!  God is my fortress!   God is my rock!!  God is my heavenly Daddy!!  

"I AM A CHILD OF GOD, A WOMAN OF FAITH, A WARRIOR OF CHRIST

I AM THE STORM!!!!"   

CHOOSE JOY? SERIOUSLY? NOW?

 It’s that time of year!   The Christmas Season is now upon us.  As the celebration of the birth of my Savior draws near, my thoughts probe deeper into being in the presence of Jesus Christ.  Why is it that it sometimes takes trials to draw closer to my Lord?  Especially this time of year?  Why does it sometimes take a trial or a holiday to draw closer to God?  I mean He is always on my mind and in my heart but sometimes I guess I just need to be stirred up, you know what I mean?  I can get so comfortable in my warm and toasty home watching Hallmark movies that I forget to sit in His presence, I forget to read His Word and I can get lost “doing Christmas stuff”.   That makes me sad to admit that, but I’m human and I am a sinner.

Life is a journey of ups and downs and this year is no exception.   But instead of me focusing on Sean’s disease, I’m going to do my best to focus on the here and now.  Instead of being mad or depressed I’m going to choose joy.  Being in the very presence of Jesus Christ has changed me for the better I hope.  Finding my joy in Him takes focus on what’s wrong.  While it’s not as easy for others to choose joy, I’ve made a decision to embrace life and live it to the fullest.   I could easily look back with regrets and dwell on what’s wrong with Sean, and what’s wrong with this world, but why?  Why should I waste one second dwelling on the negative?   Isn’t there enough negativity is this world?  I want to focus on the endless possibilities that Jesus Christ died to give me.  

I choose joy!   I choose hope!  I choose life!   I have not seen my son depressed of questioning God.   Sean has a hope that lives deep in his heart.  There is a trust that God will work through the doctors to heal him.  I stand in awe of my son and what he is going through, I honestly don’t know if I could go through what he’s going through.  His strength and determination comes from God.  His healing will also come through God.  Sean was baptized as a baby but I’ll never forget that Christmas Eve service at Cedar Creek Church where my son officially gave his life over to Jesus Christ, it was the best Christmas gift I ever received.   He has the promise of eternity in Heaven.  For that fact alone….I choose JOY!  

We all have choices to make, joy or sorrow, anger or repentance, fear or faith, believe in Jesus Christ or not.  As this year slowly draws to a close I want to challenge you all to choose joy!  It may not always be easy to choose joy but it’s so much more rewarding.  

THE FOG HAS LIFTED..IT'S TIME FOR A BATTLE

 

Sometimes I get so wrapped up in me and my thoughts and struggles during this time that I lose focus of others who are struggling.  I know my daughters are struggling with what is going on with Sean, I know Meghan has to be struggling with what is happening.  We are family and we will get through this together with God leading the way.  For 3 months now there has been a fog that has clouded my judgement and my thinking.  I have allowed that fog to permeate my mind.  My thoughts have not been what they usually are and that is causing me troubles until this morning when God brought me to Psalm 40- read it after you're done with this blog.  It changed my heart and my thoughts.

I need to wait patiently on my Lord.  He has heard my cries and my prayers.  He has done so many miracles in my life and the life of my family that I began to doubt His plan, I been to fear that His plan was not my plan...which is true...His plan is not even close to my plan, it's always better.  At least it has been for me.  Even when I doubt, even when I am fearful, He always comes through.  It may not be what I would like but He has always been faithful and I believe He will be faithful in healing Sean.  The thing I kept forgetting to do it raise my sword of the Spirit...the Word of God.

I need to arm myself for battle with the enemy, the deceiver, the liar.  Oh trust me God will fight this battle and He will ultimately win, but I need to arm myself because I cannot stand against the strategies of Satan without the proper armor. I need the belt of God's truth, I need the breastplate of His righteousness, I need the shoes to spread the good news about Jesus, I need a shield of faith knowing God's got me in the palm of His hands, I need the helmet of Salvation...Jesus Christ is my Savior, and I need to wield the sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God...my Bible!!!  God will fight my battles but my responsibility to to put on His armor every day.

I forgot thee things.  I was so caught up in what was going on I lost sight of the impossible...what God is doing in Sean's body and mind and heart.  I will fight on my knees armed for battle with God's Holy armor.  I will not fight a war that He has already won, I surrender myself, Sean and my family to my God and my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.   All I can say is watch out Satan I am now armed and dangerous!!!

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