"WHAT ABOUT ME?"

The phrase, "What about me?" is one coined by Joyce Meyer.  I have heard her say it and preach about it many times, yet for some strange, stupid reason, that phrase invades my life, my heart and my soul.  Satan steps into my life through someone else's words or actions (or lack of) and leaves me with doubts and fears and a feeling of "poor pitiful me".

I am sure I am not the only one who sits on days and wonders, "What about me?"  "Am I important to any one?"  "Does anyone really know me or care to know me?"  "Does my life have meaning?'  "Does God see me and hear me?"  These thoughts reel through my mind and leaves terror and dread in their wake.  Thus the "pity party" ensues and tears falls.  Am I alone here?  I doubt it!  Although I may be one of the few who dare to admit it.  

Listen, I am being honest here and I pray you are also.  Get honest with yourself about these feelings.  I normally don't cater to my feelings but there are occasions where I have to and this is one of those.  Truthfully I have no visible reasons to be in this mind set that anyone can see, yet here I am.  I wonder where I have disappeared to?  What happened to that little girl who was called "giggles"?  What happened to my smile?  

Oh sure I do not feel like this a majority of my time, in fact I consider myself a very positive person.  99% of the time I am smiling and laughing and enjoying life.  I celebrate my life knowing Jesus Christ is my Savior.  Just yesterday, I sat in church with my arms raised high, singing songs about my amazing God, chatting with friends and enjoying life.  Jerry and I drove out to see his mom, we laughed, we talked, we enjoyed life, so what happened?

Life!  Stupid random thoughts, lies of Satan invaded my mind.  I sat and focused on myself and what I wanted, what I needed, what I longed for.  "What about me?"  The thoughts rang through my mind like a bad song, and the dumbest thing is I allowed it.  In fact I fed those thoughts and thus am living with the results today.  Instead of focusing on what I have, instead of seeing all the blessings in my life, I focused on what I didn't have and felt I deserved.  How stupid!

Philippians 2:3  Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 

Life is not about me!  (Even though I still feel like that at this moment.)  My life, my mind, my moods should not be surrounded with thoughts of me, but thoughts of how can I be a blessing to others.  I realize that, I know that deep down in my soul.  Luckily these pity parties don't last as long as they used to.

You see, through reading the Bible, I have come to understand the truth that my life is not about what I get, what I do, or what I have.  It's about what I do with what I have been given.  It's about loving the unlovable.  It's about being peaceful in the midst or turmoil.  It's about standing up for what you believe in and making a difference in someone else's life.   It's about showing someone the love of Jesus Christ.  It's about sacrificing me to help someone else.  

What I want, what I feel I need, what I feel I deserve is not important.  It's not about me!  It's about Jesus!  It's about living my life like His.  Actually if I can be 100% honest, I am sick and tired of thinking about me, it's time for me to focus on others.  

Lord, forgive me for my selfish pity parties.  This life is not about me, it's about you!  Help to change the focus of my life to you and your will for my life, in Jesus name I pray, amen