UNWORTHY

2 Corinthians 3:16-18  Whenever, though, they turn to face God as Moses did, God removes the veil and there they are--face to face! They suddenly recognize that God is a living, personal presence, not a piece of chiseled stone. And when God is personally present, a living Spirit, that old, constricting legislation is recognized as obsolete. We're free of it!  All of us! Nothing between us and God, our faces shining with the brightness of his face. And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him. 

I so often feel so unworthy of this life I have.  I have done nothing to deserve these blessings in my life.  I have an awesome husband, while others have a husband who beats them verbally, physically or both.   I have children who are simply amazing.   They love each other, accept each other and are always there for each other inspite of differences.  I look at other families and see so much bickering, so much drama, so much division.  I have son-in-laws who treat my daughters with love and respect.  So many families have in-law problems and issues to deal with.  I have grandchildren who bring joy and laughter into my life.  Other families are dealing with childhood cancers  and illnesses that are tremendous. I am unworthy of the rich blessings in my life.

Now I am not telling you any to this to brag and if it sounds like that I am sorry.  I am being totally honest here when I say I feel unworthy.  You know what?  I am unworthy!   I am a sinner!  I am a hypocrite!  I am selfish!  I am lazy!  Sound harsh?  Trust me I am not throwing a pity party here.  These are things that were once true about me, (in fact they sometimes still are).  My point here is that even though I have been in church my entire life.  I went to a Catholic grade school and high school.   I knew the rules and regulations.  The traditions and history of the church is what I learned about.  I knew Jesus Christ was my Savior, BUT the veil between God and I was still there.

Why did I need to go to a priest to confess my sins and have them forgiven?   Why did we pray to Mary and other "saints" to intercede with God for us?   Why couldn't I read the Bible?   In fact why wasn't I ever encouraged to read the Bible?   Why couldn't I go directly to God to confess my sins and pray to Him for the help I needed?   Looking back it seems like the catholic church still has the veil in place, am I right?  No don't get all offended if you are a catholic reading this.  This is my thoughts and questions that I had for my entire life.  (There are many more, but I won't bore you with them.)

When I first heard this verse, I had been saved for 5 minutes.  I was at a Women's Conference and a Christian band was playing.  Midstream the singer stopped and read this verse from The Message version of the Bible.  It hit me.  It hit me hard!  In fact these were the first verses I memorized because they impacted me that much.  You see for my entire life I thought the veil between God and I was still in tact.   That is the way the catholic church made it feel to me.  God seemed like a  Holy, angry, judgemental and condemning God. 

Well when I gave my life to Jesus Christ, that veil was lifted!  I met God face to face, through the blood of His Son Jesus Christ.   God is not some statue to fall and pray to, Jesus is not still on the cross, I do not need to pray to any saint or Mary to get my prayers heard.  God is a personal presence in my life.  His living Spirit dwells in me and is alive in me.   

"That old, constricting legislation is recognized as obsolete.   We're free of it!  All of us! Nothing between us and God, our faces shining with the brightness of his face. And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him."

Just like Moses, I can stand before God!  My face shines because of the love and light that pours from His face.  Day by day I am being transfigured into the image of Jesus Christ.  I am becoming more and more like Him, by talking with Him, by learning from His word and by allowing myself to be changed and transformed.  I am unworthy of all of this, but because God loves me, He sent His Son to die in my place so that I would be worthy because of what Christ did for me.  

I wish I had been taught about the salvation of Jesus Christ when I was younger,  I wish I had had the opportunity to verbally accept Jesus Christ as my Savior.  The salvation prayer literally saved my life!  The moment the veil was lifted for me will always be the greatest day in my life! 

Lord, thank you for lifting the veil from my eyes and my heart.  Thank you for allowing me to stand in the presence of God.  May your light always shine forth from my mouth, my heart and my hands in Jesus name I pray, amen!