FROM UNCLEAN TO HONOR

Isaiah 6:5 "Woe to me!"  I cried.  "I am ruined!  For I am a man of unclean lips among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty."

As I sit here today typing I must admit I am ruined by this verse.  I should be on my knees confessing all my sins, all my wrong thoughts, all my wrong words.  I should live in a state of constant despair and hopelessness.  I should be crying pools of tears for I am not worthy of standing in the presence of God, my Lord Almighty.    I am a wretched sinner who has talked for my entire life with unclean lips.  My thoughts are not what they should be.  My heart is quickly deceived and my soul is longing for something or someone to change me.  As I type this very blog, I could feel very overwhelmed by the sins of my past.  

I have lived with a deep regret of how I treated my parents, the people who raised me and sacrificed for me.  They worked tirelessly to be able to afford to pay for me and my sister and brother, to go to private school.  I saw them every night, on their knees, praying to God.  They took me to church every weekend and we always had food on the table and there was always a roof over my head.  When my dad's factory shut down, my mom decided to step out of her comfort zone and go to work.  Back in the 60's and early 70's this was not normal.  She sacrificed her comfort zone for our family.  When my dad went back to work, he supported her decision to keep working.  He actually started cooking and cleaning so she wouldn't have to.  

Parents are not perfect, they do the best they can and they screw up at times.  I always counted on them being there for me, but when they moved to Arizona, I was angry.  I was bitter.  I never visited them out there because I was mad.  Oh I still talked with them, I never shut them out of my life (would never even have thought about that) even though I was hurt.  When my dad died, I flew out to Arizona for the first time.  I was broken and ruined.   Filled with regrets and overwhelmed by grief I had missed out on seeing Arizona through my dad's eyes.  I never got the chance to enjoy his orange, lemon or grapefruit trees with him.  I never got the chance to walk through Sedona with him.  There is so much I missed and I will never get back because of my pride and my selfishness.  

You may be asking what my regrets have to do with this verse....Well let me explain in the best way I can.  I was ruined when my dad died.  The words I privately about how angry I was made my lips unclean.  I never spoke them to him or my mom, but I did to others.  I was so wrong!!!  I missed out on so much joy and happiness because all I could see was how their move affected me.  I didn't stop to realize that by moving, my dad's health was much better.  He was able to do so much more than he could have ever done here in Michigan.  I could sit here and compile a list of things they missed out on because of their choices, but to be honest, my list of what I missed out on is much longer.  

Deuteronomy 5:16 Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

If I would have ever really grasped this truth, I would not live with regrets today.  I was taught honor your father and mother as one of the commandments but never was taught the second part of this verse...so that you may live long and that it may go well with you.  I did not honor my mother and father for almost 25 years because I was living with unclean lips towards them.  People sympathized with me and commiserated with me.  Today this truth sickens me to know I was like this.  But I didn't understand, I didn't realize until it was too late.  When we live without fulfilling the ten commandments to the best of our human abilities, we are missing out on so many blessings God has for us.  

We need to admit to God our own failings and stop concentrating on our parents failings.  "I am ruined for I am a daughter with unclean lips, living in a world of people with unclean lips."  I had no right to judge my parents, the parents God hand selected for me.  They had the correct DNA to make me and God knew that.  He also knew they wouldn't be perfect.  Neither am I.  Listen I understand that some of you may have been abused by your parents, for that I am sorry.  But God's word does not say honor your mother and father if they treat you right or if they are always there for you or if they give you everything you need.    There is no "if" in any of the ten commandments. 

Jesus Christ has removed the regrets from my life now.  My unclean lips have been forgiven and redeemed.  For all of you out there struggling with parents or family or other relationships, be careful with your words.  Once said, they cannot be taken back.  Don't live with unclean lips, regrets and a cold heart.  Let the very presence of God heal you and fill you with His peace and love.  Forgive as we are forgiven.  Honor your parents no matter how imperfect they are and embrace the very presence of God within you.