LET'S GET REAL HONEST HERE.

Psalm 139:23-24  Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Search me Lord!  This is one of the scariest prayers we could ever say.  In fact, it is so scary that few of us will ever have the courage to pray it.  Do you have the courage to pray it?   For me personally, I don't want to pray this.  Why?  Well to be honest, if I do then God will know ever deep dark secret I keep buried deep down in my heart.  He will know the real me, the part I try to hide, the me I keep buried  and hidden.  You know that selfish, prideful, sinful person we try to pretend we're not.  That is the me that I deny exists, after all I go to church every week, I read my Bible, I pray, I listen to encouraging messages, I believe in Jesus Christ, I have been saved.  How could I possibly be anything like the hidden me?

Search me Lord!  Oh how I want to say this prayer, but if God knew the real me and the honest condition of my heart, He may reject me and send me to eternal damnation.  If He finds out what's really in my heart, I'm done for.  The eternal book of life will close for me.  I'm sure that if God knew what He was getting with me, He would have never tried to come close to me.  

Search me Lord!  Someday I will be sin free, then I will pray this prayer knowing that God will be pleased with me, especially since I cleaned up my heart before I prayed this.  When I've gotten my life straightened out, He will be able to search my heart and see all the good I have done.  All the bad thoughts, all the bad words, all the sinful side of me will be gone.  That is when I will pray this prayer because I do not want God searching my sinful and dirty heart.

Is this how you think?  Is this how you feel?  For me these thoughts were real.  They were honest to me.  Then I began to realize that I was being really foolish and if you are thinking this way, you are being foolish also.  You see, God is not surprised by anything you say or do or think.  He knows our words, our thoughts and our deeds even before we do.  We have not surprised Him one bit.  He is not shocked by our behavior.  He knit us together before we were born, He knew we were sinners when He formed us, yet He stilled formed us.  He breathed His life giving breath into us when we were born as sinners, yet He still gave us His breath.

I can picture God up in heaven right now, " Are you serious?  Did you really say that?"  "Did you really do that? "  "What were you thinking?" "If only I would have known you'd be a sinner, I would not have created you."  "I guess I made a mistake with you, huh?"   "I am totally shocked that your heart is so dirty."  Are these the thoughts that fill your mind?  Are these the scenarios you have playing out in your imagination?   Do you really believe God is thinking this way about you?  Then you need to meet the God I have met.

God knows your heart already even if you never pray for Him to search your heart.  He knows all your thoughts, He knows everything you have ever said and will say, He knows every deed you have and will do, good and bad.  Yet He still loves you.  He knows how sinful we are, yet He still loves us.  God is not surprised by you!  God does not make mistakes!  

Listen when we pray for God to search our hearts, it's not for His sake, it's for our sake.  Only when we allow God to search our heart will we ever fully know what we need to change, where we need to grow, and how much we need our Savior.  We can easily close our mind and our eyes off to what is really in our hearts.  We can deny the reality all we want, but when we ask God to search our heart, we come face to face with the reality of the condition of our heart.  Then we are able to work with the Holy Spirit to transform our heart to be more like Jesus.  So are you willing t take a risk?  Are you willing to say a dangerous prayer?

Lord, Search my heart.  Test my motives.  Reveal to me all my anxious thoughts.  Show me everything that may be offensive to you.  Transform my heart so that I will become more like you, in Jesus name I pray, amen!    

WHAT PLANS ARE YOU MAKING?

Ephesians 1:11 In Him we were chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of Him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will.

What plans are you making for today?  This week?  This month?  This year?  There are some people who are avid planners.  They have their schedule on their phones, on their computers and written down, just in case.  They make plans, they plan out their life and have it all scheduled out.  They can spend hours a day just planning the day ahead.  Know anyone like that?  Are you a planner?  

Me personally I am not much of a planner, ask my daughters or Jerry.  They can get so frustrated with me because I do last minute planning.  That's just the way I am, that's why God gave me Jerry, he's a planner.  Thank God he is!   Planning is not one of my strong suits.  It always seems that when I make plans for something in the distant future, someone throws a monkey wrench in my plans and messes everything up.  Plans, goals just confuse me and aggravate me.  You see it has always seemed to me that my plans just didn't work out the way I had planned, so why bother?  I am after all a "fly by the seat of my pants" type girl.  

The funny thing is that in reading the Bible I have discovered that I am not all that wrong.  You see, I figure it this way, God's plans are so much better than mine.  It always figures that when I try to make plans, God whispers to me, "Go ahead and make your plans, but trust me My plans are much better than yours.  So just forget about it and let me have my way.  You know I will anyway."  You see God has a will and a plan for my life and it isn't what I thought it would be.  

I never once imagined living where I live, an hour away from my children and grandchildren. I never once imagined ever leaving the Catholic church that I grew up in.  My parents scrimped and saved every penny to send me to private school, I even went to an all girls catholic high school.  I never imagined that I would sit in a church that sang with microphones and played guitars with amplifiers and a drum set.  I never imagined that Jerry and I would own the Insurance Agency he worked at for 20 some years.  I never planed to live on a lake and own a pontoon boat.  I never imagined that I would write anything anyone would read, especially a blog.  

My plans were simple.  A home, a church, a comfort zone I would never leave.  Surrounded by my family I would live my life for my husband and children.  Simple plan, right?  Well God turned my life upside down in the best way possible.  I allowed myself to focus on His plans and His will for my life.  I took my eyes off my plans and instead of God being my co-pilot, He became my pilot!    He took control of the steering wheel of my life.  His flight plan for me has been set.  I will be honest, it has been rather scary to give up control and trust in a God I cannot see visibly, but the reward has been extreme.

You see God's plans for me are much better and far greater than my plans are.  His ways are far greater than my ways.  He has done things for me that blow my mind.  He has changed me from the inside and blessed me for being obedient to His plans and will for my life.  He has humbled me and shown me the narrow path on which He guides me is far more rewarding than anything I could have every dreamed of planning.  I'm not just talking monetarily.  I am talking about having a deep peace, health, friendship and love.  People you cannot put a price tag on those things.  Plus I have the promise of eternity in Heaven sitting at the feet of Jesus Christ.  Those plans have been set in stone!  

Trust me please when I tell you that by allowing yourself to follow God's plan and God's will for your life, you will never be disappointed.    Give your life to Jesus Christ today and get ready for the ride of your life.

Lord, today I choose your plans for my life.  I choose your will for my life.  Transform me, change me and mold me.  Lead me down the narrow path.  I trust in you, I believe in you, in Jesus name I pray, amen.

WHAT ARE WE FIGHTING FOR?

James 4:1  What causes fights and quarrels among you?  Aren't they caused by selfish desires that fight to control you? 

Listen no matter how we word it or what lies we believe, we only fight each other for one reason - selfishness .  Now I am not talking about fighting for a cause or for something you believe in, I am talking about how we fight each other.   Fists fly, punches are thrown, angry words are yelled, fingers are pointed and  the claws can come out.  I have seen it happen and it sickens me.  I personally am a peace lover, so fighting of any kind turn my stomach into knots and my head pound.  Even boxing or wrestling makes me ill.  War movies are something I cannot watch.  I can't explain it but there is something inside of me that just wants to curl up in a ball and disappear when I hear or see fighting of any kind.

I remember as a young girl waiting for my bus at the local public school.  Every once and a while a couple boys or girls physically fight each other.  I remember wondering why, why are they doing this?  What is so darned important that they feel the need to hurt each other?   Why are they willing to beat someone with fists and/or words?  I truthfully have never understood this.  I could sit here and guess about the fights I have witnessed over the years and I could let my imagination run wild as to why people feel the need to fight each other, whether it is actual physical fighting or a war of words.  

Fighting, quarreling doesn't do anyone any good and it actually causes more harm than good. It solves nothing and no one wins.  Because fighting and quarreling is caused by our stupid selfish desires.  We want to prove our point, we want to make them see our side, we want to want what we want without having to explain or defend ourselves,  We are right and they are wrong so we have to show them the errors of their ways by putting a fist into their mouth.  We have done no wrong so we yell and scream hoping that our harsh words will finally get through their thick skull.

Anger and fighting and quarreling are pointless, meaningless and (well quite frankly) stupid!  You see what I have realized by reading this verse is that our fighting among each other, our quarreling is all for selfish reasons.  We don't want to look in the mirror at ourselves to see the reality of who we are, selfish people, so we fight others to prove who we think we are and who we pretend to be to make ourselves feel better.   All the while knowing that deep down inside we know the true reality of our selfishness.  

Our selfish, foolish pride will keep us arguing, fighting and quarreling until we look in the mirror and take an honest evaluation of ourselves.  We need to stop this craziness.  Our hands were not designed by God to punch someone in the face, they were designed to fold together in praise and join together with others hands to show love.  Our words were not given to us to hurt others, but to encourage others, empower others and praise God.  

Me personally I am sick and tired of all the quarreling and fighting that goes on in this world, in our governments, in our schools, in our job sites, in our churches and in our homes.  If we would just learn to think less about ourselves and more about others, maybe, just maybe this world would be a better place.  Wouldn't it be nice to have the world's governments working together to solve problems?  Wouldn't it be great if all the teachers and kids in the schools used their words to encourage and empower each other?  Wouldn't it be nice if our job sites were filled with people who accepted each other and worked together to accomplish a goal?  Wouldn't it be awesome for there to be no more denominations and all us believers joined together to celebrate Jesus Christ?  Imagine a home where the husband loves his wife, the wife respects her husband and the children listened to their parents?     

Lord, humble me.  Make me see others more than myself.  Remove all selfishness from me and help me to live like you, in Jesus name I pray, amen.

HAPPILY EVER AFTER ENDINGS AREN'T REAL, ARE THEY?

Philippians 4:4-7  Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all, the Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard our hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Okay I just have to dive straight into these verses.  I have written about verse 6 & 7 before but then I noticed verses 4 & 5 and just had to dive into these because I truly don't think we get it.  Oh we may have these verses memorized, we may have them written out to remind us not to worry, but I think we just don't fully grasp what Paul is saying here.   I truly think many of us prefer to worry and fret about our problems.  I truly believe that there are many out there who are reading this think that worry is just a way of life.   Really?????

I am trying not to offend anyone and if I do, I am sorry but I have to be real and I have to be honest.  Read these verses again!  It starts out with saying that we should rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS!!!!  Not just when things are going our way, not just when our prayers have been answered, not just when life is sweet.  ALWAYS means ALWAYS!!!  Yes even in times of trouble, we should rejoice.  Even when a family member is going through a divorce or separation, even when the diagnosis is not good, even when the creditors are knocking at  your door.  I know it's hard to rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS, but if Paul can write this and mean this while he was in prison surrounded by raw sewage, surely we can learn to rejoice ALWAYS.  Can't we?

Gentleness?  How many of us actually sound or appear to be gentle?  Honestly, take a look in the mirror and ask people around you if they think you're gentle, if you are willing to face the truth.  I know the truth hurts, trust me.  We believers, argue and bicker and whine and moan about our different denominations.  We drive out church parking lots and onto the highways and our road rage takes over.  We finger point and gossip then wonder why no one listens to us when we talk about Jesus Christ.  Really??

DON'T WORRY,  DON'T BE ANXIOUS!   "Yea, get real God!  Haven't you heard the news or read the papers?  This world is crazy and you seriously expect me not to worry?"  YES HE DOES!  Worry is like putting a down payment on something that may never happen.  It destroys our health, it destroys families, it destroys everything.  Worry is pointless and quite frankly- dumb!  Listen, if God wanted us to worry, why would we need Him? Worry tells God we don't trust Him to handle things.  Worry tells God we don't rely on Him.  Worry tells God we don't believe that He can help us.  If God could balance the sun in the sky and the stars at night, don't you think He may just be able to help you out?  Stop Worrying and Start Living!!!

Prayer, with THANKSGIVING!  Now there's an idea, actually thanking God.  Oh we can be totally awesome prayer warriors.  We have our list of wants and needs, we have our desires and we pray them every night.  Sometimes we pray them day and night, over and over and over.  Then we complain because God hasn't answered our prayers.  We even yell and scream, "God why haven't you answered my prayers?  Where are you God?  Don't you hear me?  Don't you love me?  Do you really exist?"  Now come on I know that some of you out there have prayed this way.   We ask and ask and ask and ask, but have you stopped and thanked God recently?  Have you thanked Him for all you do have instead of always asking Him for what you want?

PEACE THAT TRANSCENDS UNDERSTANDING!  Wouldn't we all want that?  A peace so deep and rare that it cannot be explained?  Is that possible?  YES!!!  Once we stop worrying and begin thanking God, that peace is possible. Once we start being gentle with our words and actions and once we begin to rejoice ALWAYS!  Listen I totally get it that life sometimes just out and out sucks!  We watch movies with happy endings and we curse the movie because happily ever after never happens, or at least to us it doesn't.  If this is your belief and you believe in Jesus Christ, you are totally wrong!  Because with Jesus Christ as our Savior, we have a happily ever after ending to our movie, we have eternity.   

I have my happily ever after because Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior.  I rejoice in Him Always.  I do my best to always be gentle and I pray with  thanksgiving.  Because of me living this way (most of the time)  I have a peace that I cannot explain.  I know one thing, this life is only temporary, eternity is forever.  Join me in experiencing this peace.

Lord, I thank you for this wonderful world you created. Thank you for the many blessings you have given me, like indoor plumbing, clean drinking water, food to eat, clothes to wear, and a roof  over my head.  I surrender my worry and all m anxious thoughts to you, in Jesus name I pray, amen.

WHAT OR WHO ARE YOU CHASING AFTER?

What or who are you chasing after?  Your dream?  Wealth?  Happiness?  Health?  Love?  Peace?  Patience?  A spouse?  Beauty?  The list could go on and on and on, couldn't it?  So let me ask you this again, what or who are you chasing after?   Think about it for a moment because this question will truly determine where your heart lies.  What we chase is what is most important in our lives.  What we spend our time doing or watching or thinking about or reading about tells the truth about what we spend our lives chasing after.  

As the sun begins to set on another day I find myself contemplating this very question.  What or who did I chase after today?   Unfortunately I did not chase after who I wanted to chase after because I fell into the trap of rearranging my bedroom.  You see we are in the process of selling our lake home so in trying to make our home more beautiful, I had to rearrange things a bit.  My mind was consumed with what I should put where and what should I take out and store in the garage.  Every ounce of my physical being was pushing around furniture that is way too heavy for me to move, but I did it.   So as of yet my focus of my chase was not what I truthfully want to tell you it was. 

I am frustrated with myself because I sometimes feel I am chasing after the wrong things and the wrong people .  Let me explain.  I chase after other people's attention by lowering my standards.  Last week I met some friends and ended up spending hours gossiping about others.   Really???  I know better, or at least I thought I did.  I fell into that stupid trap that the enemy laid out for me.  Why?  Because I spent too much time chasing the wrong people and the wrong things.   I also fall into the stupid trap of getting comfy and cozy in my lazy boy chair and turn on even stupider movies or shows that require no IQ to watch.  

Why do I do this?  Over and over and over again this happens and it all stems from me chasing after the wrong things and the wrong people.  When will I ever learn?  Do you ask yourself this question or am I the only one?   What or who are you chasing after?  If Jesus came back today, what would you be doing with your time?  What or who would you be chasing after? 

John 12:19  Then the Pharisees said to each other, "There's nothing we can do.  Look everyone has gone after him!"

When I read this verse I felt like God hit me over the head with a 2 x 4.  I do't know about you, but I want to be like the believers that the Pharisees are talking about.  I want to chase after Jesus like they did.  Jesus had just entered the city on a donkey and all the believers chased after Him.  I am sure they had chores to finish and crops to tend too.  Sheep had to be corralled and  cows milked, yet they dropped everything and  chased after Jesus.  WOW!!!

Nothing and no one is more important than chasing after Jesus.  I want to be like these people.   Would I drop everything if Jesus came into my neighborhood?  I would hope so.  The "I have more important things to do" attitude would disappear.   Think about it for a moment, why is any TV show more important than spending time with Jesus Christ?  Listen God does not expect us to quit our jobs and leave our home a mess in order to chase after Jesus, there has to be balance.  But if we are honest with ourselves, we waste too much time on stupid stuff.

Okay I'll admit it, I waste too much time on stupid stuff.  If I'm spending a certain amount of time getting ready every morning and only spend 5 minutes chasing after Jesus, that is a little out of balance, don't you think?   How many hours a day do you sit and watch or listen to the news and yet to read the Bible for 5 minutes is a challenge?

Okay listen to me (and trust me I am talking to myself also,)  The King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Prince of Peace, Savior of the World, Son of God is chasing after you!   He longs for a relationship with you!  He wants to tell you the stories of His amazing love.  Do you have time for that?  Or would you rather be like the pathetically jealous Pharisees who chased after Jesus only to destroy Him?  God is waiting for you!  

Lord, forgive me for all the wasted time I have spent chasing after the wrong things and the wrong people.  Today I will chase after you and throw myself at your feet.  Renew your steadfast Spirit within me, in Jesus name I pray, amen