Psalm 139:23-24 Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Search me Lord! This is one of the scariest prayers we could ever say. In fact, it is so scary that few of us will ever have the courage to pray it. Do you have the courage to pray it? For me personally, I don't want to pray this. Why? Well to be honest, if I do then God will know ever deep dark secret I keep buried deep down in my heart. He will know the real me, the part I try to hide, the me I keep buried and hidden. You know that selfish, prideful, sinful person we try to pretend we're not. That is the me that I deny exists, after all I go to church every week, I read my Bible, I pray, I listen to encouraging messages, I believe in Jesus Christ, I have been saved. How could I possibly be anything like the hidden me?
Search me Lord! Oh how I want to say this prayer, but if God knew the real me and the honest condition of my heart, He may reject me and send me to eternal damnation. If He finds out what's really in my heart, I'm done for. The eternal book of life will close for me. I'm sure that if God knew what He was getting with me, He would have never tried to come close to me.
Search me Lord! Someday I will be sin free, then I will pray this prayer knowing that God will be pleased with me, especially since I cleaned up my heart before I prayed this. When I've gotten my life straightened out, He will be able to search my heart and see all the good I have done. All the bad thoughts, all the bad words, all the sinful side of me will be gone. That is when I will pray this prayer because I do not want God searching my sinful and dirty heart.
Is this how you think? Is this how you feel? For me these thoughts were real. They were honest to me. Then I began to realize that I was being really foolish and if you are thinking this way, you are being foolish also. You see, God is not surprised by anything you say or do or think. He knows our words, our thoughts and our deeds even before we do. We have not surprised Him one bit. He is not shocked by our behavior. He knit us together before we were born, He knew we were sinners when He formed us, yet He stilled formed us. He breathed His life giving breath into us when we were born as sinners, yet He still gave us His breath.
I can picture God up in heaven right now, " Are you serious? Did you really say that?" "Did you really do that? " "What were you thinking?" "If only I would have known you'd be a sinner, I would not have created you." "I guess I made a mistake with you, huh?" "I am totally shocked that your heart is so dirty." Are these the thoughts that fill your mind? Are these the scenarios you have playing out in your imagination? Do you really believe God is thinking this way about you? Then you need to meet the God I have met.
God knows your heart already even if you never pray for Him to search your heart. He knows all your thoughts, He knows everything you have ever said and will say, He knows every deed you have and will do, good and bad. Yet He still loves you. He knows how sinful we are, yet He still loves us. God is not surprised by you! God does not make mistakes!
Listen when we pray for God to search our hearts, it's not for His sake, it's for our sake. Only when we allow God to search our heart will we ever fully know what we need to change, where we need to grow, and how much we need our Savior. We can easily close our mind and our eyes off to what is really in our hearts. We can deny the reality all we want, but when we ask God to search our heart, we come face to face with the reality of the condition of our heart. Then we are able to work with the Holy Spirit to transform our heart to be more like Jesus. So are you willing t take a risk? Are you willing to say a dangerous prayer?
Lord, Search my heart. Test my motives. Reveal to me all my anxious thoughts. Show me everything that may be offensive to you. Transform my heart so that I will become more like you, in Jesus name I pray, amen!
No comments:
Post a Comment