Distracted, deceived and defeated. The struggle is real. My heart feels overwhelmed right now. The thing is I don't feel this way because of anything that is happening in my life, I think it has everything to do with what isn't happening in my life. Expectations, dreams, and hopes fill my mind and when they do not come to pass, my heart feels it. I expect people to use words to encourage me, when they don't I feel defeated. I expect people to accept me for who I am, when they don't I feel hurt. I expect people to want to hear what I have to say, when they don't I shut down. I expect people to love me the way I need to be loved, when they don't I can climb into my shell and bury my head in the sand.
The enemy has distracted me once again by encouraging me to live by my feelings. He has deceived me by convincing me that it is important what others think of me. He has once again defeated me by expecting others to fill me with what I can only receive from God. It saddens me that I have to go through this but it also encourages me because I know that as I strive to reach a new level with God through the blood of Jesus Christ, the enemy brings up a new strategy. "New level, new devil". It's time for me to turn the page and get on with my life the way God meant it to be.
Listen to me....the enemy is real and alive on this earth. He roams around seeking to destroy believers. He's a liar, a thief, and murderer. He will steal, kill and destroy my life if I fall for his lies and schemes and strategies. Yes I have fallen for his ways way too often, but in doing so I has also drawn me closer to God. What used to take me weeks to get over, now takes me only a few hours or a day at the most. How can that be? How can I possibly get over these attacks so quickly now? Well, I allowed God to use the lies and schemes and strategies of the enemy to teach me valuable lessons.
These lessons have been painful for me to endure. To take an honest look in the Bible and allow God to prune away everything that does not give Him glory has not been easy. Recently God has been challenging me to speak up for Him, to stand up and be vocal about my faith. I need to stop hiding His light under a bushel basket and allow His light to shine through me. Listen God doesn't need me to defend Him, He needs me to obey Him and there are times that doing that is hard because I risk offending them or making them mad. But my job is to do what God tells me to do. Nothing more, nothing less.
The thing is, when I began obeying God about speaking up for my faith, the enemy came at me full board and challenged me. "Who do you think you are?" "No body cares what you think." "No body cares about you." I became broken. I believed his lies and went down a broken road. Then last night at BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) I told the leader of my group to pray for me. Well I don't know what she prayed, but it worked. I feel alive again and filled with the light of God and the love of Jesus Christ. The Holy Spirit that lives in me had a good talk with me last night and God reached down and grabbed me out of the pit I had fallen into. Praise God
Listen if you feel like I did, contact me so we can talk. There is help, there is hope, there is healing in the name of Jesus Christ!
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